The Fast-Spinning Earth and a Weekend That Slowed Down

Is it just me, or is the Earth spinning faster than it used to? We slept in on Sunday and woke up to a full-blown thunderstorm. Out on the back balcony, a bird was trying to break up a fight while two others snatched food from its beak. Nicholas called me over to see the action, and apparently our presence was enough to stop the bullying. The birds scattered in a chirping mess.

Then we looked out at the front balcony. A bigger bird had brought its whole extended family to raid the cilantro sprouts. The potting soil, made from spent coffee grounds, was scattered everywhere. N said not to worry about it. “Let them eat,” he said. “They look like they’re really into it.” In the middle of all this chaos, we spotted a little green seedling poking out from one of the flowerpots. No idea where it came from, but it looked strong and healthy. Someone must’ve dropped a seed in there without meaning to.

Nicholas was working on some writing, N was debugging his code, and I was curled up with a book. Out of nowhere, Nicholas called out from his room, “Mom, if I have to give a long speech — like ten pages — how do people do it without reading the whole thing?” I thought for a second and said, “Well, get really familiar with the structure and memorize your key points.” He gave a little “okay” and went back to it. I returned to my red turtle cake, a gift from our neighbor, and kept reading.

I was deep into a book by Professor David Damrosch, who was analyzing Orhan Pamuk. He wrote that life is basically a testing ground. There's no experiment you can't try. A novel’s plot can unfold right alongside real life — like Istanbul’s Museum of Innocence or Chimamanda Adichie’s Syria. There are so many ways to tell a good story, but breaking out of the mold is no easy task.

After a whole day of learning and thinking, I figured my brain had reached capacity. So I started shelling sunflower seeds for my dedicated programmer, N. The goal was to fill up a paper cup. It’s a boring job, so I put on a random mystery series to keep me company. It turned out to be a very... humbling experience. The first episode opened with a maid found dead in a fancy hotel room. She had no ID, just a room key card in her pocket. Instead of pulling the electronic lock records like any hotel would, the investigative team decided to sit for hours watching security footage like it was some kind of endurance sport. That’s not how this works. When I traveled for work, someone entered my hotel room while I was out. The standard procedure is for hotel security to use a reader about the size of a card machine, pull the lock, and extract the entry data. The screen tells you the exact time, date, and which card was used. Room key, maid access, staff key, VIP access, all of them are traceable. No need to stare at grainy video for hours when a few clicks will do the trick.

Later in the show, they found the murder weapon. It had skin cells, oil, and tape residue on it. After lifting the fingerprint, they tracked down the suspect. But wait a second. If there’s tape residue on the weapon, doesn’t that mean someone used tape to lift his fingerprint from a smooth surface, then stuck the tape on the weapon? If the guy really was the killer, why not just leave his print directly? What is this — a serial killer who collects office supplies? Still, for all its nonsense, the show did help me finish shelling those seeds without realizing it.

Nicholas went off to play ball. N ran out to buy breakfast for the next day. I stayed behind and kept eating my red turtle cake — chewy outside, sweet and fragrant filling. One bite at a time, one laugh after another, and just like that, the weekend was over. Maybe the Earth really is spinning faster, but it hasn’t caught up with us yet.

Yo no sé

地球是不是转的比从前快了，一个晚起的周日，窗外下了一场暴雨。后窗阳台上一只鸟劝架，两只鸟从另一只嘴里夺食，N喊我过去看，我们的出现阻止了这场霸凌。它们啾啾着一哄而散。回过头，正面的阳台上，大鸟带着全家来吃刚发芽的香菜，咖啡粉做的培养土被扬了一地。N说没事，让它们吃吧，看样子是挺爱吃的。暴雨里，我们看到花盆里一颗不知谁衔来的种子长成了小树苗，绿油油的，蛮挺拔嘛。

豆瓣在写东西，N在改程序，我在看书。忽然豆瓣在房间里很打破安静问，妈妈，十几页的演讲稿一般怎么怎么脱稿。我想了一下，嗯，熟悉演讲结构，记住你的关键词。他嗯了回来，我一边品尝邻居送来的红龟粿，继续看书。看大卫·丹穆若什教授点评奥尔罕.帕慕克，人生就是试炼场，没什么实验你做不了。小说的构思可以在现实世界平行发生，比如伊斯坦布尔的纯真博物馆，比如叙利亚的阿迪契，讲好一个故事的方式有很多，跳出条条框框却很难。

想着学了一天习，不能再进步了。我开始给辛苦的程序缔造者手剥瓜子。目标是剥出一个纸杯的量，这个工作枯燥无聊，就搭配了一个随便找的悬疑剧。结果特别降智……开头就是五星酒店房间死了不明来历的保洁，她兜里有张房卡。为了查明她什么时候进入的房间，办案的小组开始熬鹰一样看监控。这不太符合办案常识。之前出差，我也发现过有人趁我不在，进入过我的房间。配合报警步骤应该是酒店安保先拿一个刷卡机大小的设备拆下门锁读取数据。屏幕上清楚地写着几点几分，哪张卡进出过房间。房卡，保洁卡，楼层卡，特殊权利卡，都有号码，只要是刷卡进入，信息一清二楚。五秒钟可以做好的事情，可以帮助办案人员定位具体的具体时间，拖拽鼠标就OK，何必熬鹰呢。紧接着的剧情，凶器被找到，上面有皮肤残留，油脂残留，胶带残留，然后提取指纹后他们把嫌疑人抓了。可是胶带残留难道不是有人在光滑的器物表面，先用胶带取下了他的指纹，又把胶带黏贴到凶器上才留下的吗？ 凶手要真的是他，为什么他不直接把指纹印上去呢？难道他是透明胶带爱好者吗？ 不过一边看一边降智的好处就是不知不觉完成了剥瓜子的任务。

N去打球了，豆瓣跑去采购明天的早餐，我继续吃我的红龟粿，皮滑劲道，馅料香甜，吃着吃着，嘻嘻哈哈，一个周末就结束啦。地球转的快了，但不影响我们快乐。