Is the Road Really That Long?

Evening in Beijing was tinged with a pink glow, the kind that makes you pause mid-step. The breeze brushed against my fingers with a faint chill, just enough to remind you that summer nights are never still. At the package station, a long line of neighbors chatted casually. Mrs. Johnson’s kid was about to start summer break. Mrs. Lee’s daughter-in-law was back on a diet. Mosquitoes circled with the persistence of office party guests who don’t mind switching tables, as long as they get a bite. That kind of attitude always leads to weight gain.

Speaking of which, I had definitely gained some. After injuring my toe, I had followed doctor's orders like a pro. Which is to say, I had been moving as little as possible. Trying to lose weight in your forties is a bit like trying to win favor at court, always teetering between allowed and forbidden, progress measured in delicate, fleeting ounces. That evening, I was carrying two bags of red dates, heading over to my best friends’ place for dinner. I passed through two buildings, thinking about how beautiful the wind and sunset felt. Me and the neighborhood stray cat, both visibly fluffier these days.

I didn’t even bother with small talk. Nate was already in the kitchen frying up slices of yam, prepping them for a caramel glaze. The abalone had been shelled and cleaned, fat and white with crosshatch cuts across their backs. The black tiger shrimp waited their turn, looking moody and ready to be pan-roasted. The mustard greens had been washed and sorted, still wearing drops of water like tiny hats. Sea cucumber was tucked into a silky steamed egg custard, waiting patiently to be discovered. The belt fish had already claimed its spot on the table.

Nora had the whole apartment spotless. She owns a ridiculous number of toys, but every one of them is arranged with museum-level precision. The spacious living room was full of plush creatures puffing out their cheeks at me. I watched tropical fish drift around a 90-degree tank while teasing their son, Ellie.

"Ellie, can you say something in a Northeastern accent?"
He laughed. "I don't know how. What am I supposed to say?"

Before he could come up with anything, his online class ended and dinner was on. During my foot injury, Nate, Nora, and Ellie had practically adopted me. They brought me food and fruit. And every time I was on the brink of dropping a few ounces, they arrived with something hot, comforting, and wildly caloric. My so-called "solo health retreat" had ended with a net gain of six pounds. So naturally, now that I could walk again, I came straight to their place. Might as well eat something made with real heat and love. Of all my friends, Nate is easily the best cook.

We disinfected every dish with our phone cameras, then sent the photos to our family chat. My husband N, calling in from a tiny island, texted back, "I can’t even see the food anymore. My eyes are fogged up with drool."

Every bite was rich, bright, and unforgettable. We clinked our glasses and I felt something shift. This, I thought, is exactly what joy looks like. Good food, old friends, and no reason to hold back.

Ellie had another class coming up. Sophomore year doesn’t wait for anyone. I squeezed in a few words about European colleges as a possibility. Just then, I looked down to find another plate had materialized in front of me. And a glass of starfruit juice. The plate held braised pork belly on rice, topped with mustard greens, abalone, and shrimp. For someone allegedly on a diet, this was a cosmic betrayal. I ate every bite. Then, predictably, I started moaning.

“I’m so full. I’ve gained so much. Guys, let’s seriously go on a diet.”

Nora nodded thoughtfully. “Want to try that five-day plan we saw the other day?”

We pulled up a couple short videos. Something called the Liu Yifei method. Honestly, it didn’t seem too bad. No fasting. No celery smoothies. Just structure and some mild discipline. Seemed manageable. We decided on the spot. Nate, Nora, and I were in. We even forwarded the video to our group chat just in case we forgot the details.

N messaged, “Wait. So you’re feasting while sending me fasting instructions?”
We wrote back, “This meal is to celebrate the launch of our diet plan.”
He replied, “That’s like throwing a party because the men’s soccer team qualified for the World Cup.”

We gave up trying to argue via text and just called him. We insisted we were serious. To prove our commitment, we decided we needed a name. Something official.

“You’re doing five days on and two days off?” N said. “Why not call it the Two-Day Fishing Plan?”

Excuse me? What kind of slander was that?

Ellie popped out of his room for a slice of watermelon. I said, “Ellie, in five days, don’t call me Auntie Xiao anymore. Call me Auntie Liu. As in Liu Yifei.”

Before I could finish the sentence, Nate walked out holding dessert. Glutinous rice balls in sweet soup. Ellie rolled his eyes and typed into the group chat, “The national soccer team has a better shot at the World Cup than this diet working.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but Nate reappeared with a bowl of chilled lychees. “These just came from Hema. Give them some love.” Then he asked, “Want some scallion noodles too?”

This wasn’t dinner. This was a setup. These were not my friends. They were a culinary ambush dressed as hospitality.

Once Ellie went back to his studies, the three of us sat in the kitchen like conspirators. A pot of tea eggs was already simmering, ready for the first day of the diet. The broth was golden and aromatic, steeped in oolong, peppercorns, and bay leaves. I sipped a bit and thought, maybe a handful of peanuts or edamame wouldn’t ruin the vibe.

Three people is enough to form a full-blown operation. We agreed that the kids in the group chat didn’t count. This wasn’t just wishful thinking anymore. It was a team effort. We decided to weigh ourselves every morning and post a photo of the scale. Accountability was the name of the game. We even gave ourselves code names, like we were going on a secret mission. I was Labubu. Nora picked Piglet. Nate was Meat Sandwich.

I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down all our target weights. Folded it neatly into quarters and slipped it into my pocket. Then I cradled my seven warm tea eggs and headed home, feeling oddly giddy.

I couldn’t wait for the next day. The fishing had officially begun.

Because really, if you've got good friends who show up for you, laugh with you, and sabotage your diet just enough to keep you happy, how far can any road really be?

江湖路远吗

傍晚时分的北京，晚霞泛着粉红色的光晕，风穿过指尖，带着微微的凉意。取快递的队伍排了长队，邻居们亲密地聊着闲天，东家的孩子要放假了，西家的儿媳妇儿最近又在减肥。蚊子不识时务地在身边反复试探，像是参加公司年会的嘉宾，转桌不要紧，能吃一口是一口。这个习惯可不好，容易长胖啊。

说到长胖，最近还真的胖了不少。脚趾头受伤以后，每天的运动就是遵医嘱，能不动就不动。中年人的减肥，有点像年羹尧的青海之功，总是在皇上许与不许之间，就那么二三两份量，早晚来回横跳。我抱着两袋大枣，去好朋友家蹭饭，穿了两排楼，走在路上，感觉夕阳和风真美好呀，就是我和流浪猫都胖了。

进门也没多寒暄，牛爸正在厨房炸山药，等下要拔丝了它。备好菜的鲍鱼已经脱壳，洗的白胖，背上背着十字花刀。黑虎虾一脸铁青等着油焖，芥菜苔洗过了澡，分了家，顶着水珠。海参藏在鸡蛋羹里，等着勺子。带鱼已经先行登上了餐桌。牛妈把家里整理地清清爽爽，她的玩具多，但摆放整齐，偌大的客厅里，各种小玩偶都鼓着腮帮子看着我。我一边观看热带鱼在32度的鱼缸里游泳，一边和小度斗嘴。我说小度小度，说几句东北话听听。她说，哎呀，我不会，这可咋整。

说话的功夫，阿牛的网课上完了，全体开饭。在我脚受伤的时间里，都是好朋友一家照顾我，给我送饭送水果，在我每每有希望减掉个一两二两之际，总有美食炸弹补上我热量的缺口。美其名曰我的闭关减肥，硬生生减掉了负三公斤。一不做二不休，既然我已经能出关了，那就冲到家里来，尝尝带锅气的出品吧，牛爸的手艺是我所有朋友里最好的。我们用相机给每个菜都消了毒，发到了两家人的群里，远在小岛上的N表示，他什么都看不清了，口水朦胧了双眼。每道菜都鲜香味美，举杯欢聚，那一刻的我很开心，感觉再没有什么事情比老友相聚，吃好吃的，哈哈大笑更开心的事情了。

因为阿牛接下来还有课要去上，高二的孩子十分辛苦。我见缝插针给和孩子聊了几句把欧洲大学作为备选的可能性。一低头，多了一个盘子，一杯黄皮汁。盘子里是卤肉饭，加芥菜苔，加鲍鱼大虾。对于一个减肥的人来说，那一刻，减肥这个事情只能从明天开始了。香香的全部吃完，我开始叽叽歪歪，哎呀，胖了，胖的好多啊，咱们减肥吧。牛妈说，要不咱们试试五天减肥法？我们一起看了几个短视屏，介绍一种叫做刘亦菲减肥法的攻略。成年人嘛，做事情首先判断代价。这个行，不费劲，能坚持。我们当即决定，牛爸牛妈我，都加入这个减肥计划。然后又怕忘了这个减肥法怎么操作，于是顺手就把视频转进了群里。N回复，啥意思，你们边吃边指导我断食？我们说不是，这顿饭是我们预祝减肥成功的大餐。N回复，这和预祝男足踢进世界杯有什么区别？

打字费劲，不如电话。我们给N打了个电话。对于他的定论我们表示不服，本着差生文具多的原则，坚决要给这个刚成立的小组起个名字。N说，既然你们是五天减肥，两天休息，不如就叫两天晒网计划吧。听着都觉得生气，那么不相信我们呢。阿牛跑出来吃西瓜，我跟孩子说，儿子，五天以后就不要叫我肖阿姨了，要叫刘阿姨，刘亦菲的刘。话没说完，牛爸又端上来甜品，元宝汤圆。孩子一扭头，在群里说，国足有希望，这个够呛。我刚想说，怎么会够呛呢？牛爸又端出来刚冰好的荔枝，让我给盒马鲜生一个面子。还问我葱油面吃不吃？这顿饭怕不是鸿门宴吧，这不是我的好朋友，这是我在减肥路上的泥石流。

孩子去书房学习了，客厅里就剩我们三个下了决心的人，锅里煮着明天第一天蛋断用的茶鸡蛋，茶汤清亮，乌龙茶配着花椒和香叶。我咂摸着茶汤，感觉泡瓜子花生毛豆，也是可以的。

三个人就是一个团伙呀，在有孩子们的群里说了不算，这就是团伙诈骗吧。于是，心一横，我们打算从明早起，拍一张上秤的照片，互相监督，每天发在群里。还按照特种兵出任务的原则，给自己起了labubu，猪小花，肉夹馍的行动代号。找出纸笔，记录好了每个人的减肥目标，我把A4纸折了四折揣在兜里，抱着我的7颗温热的茶叶蛋回家睡觉去喽。

我好期待新的一天啊，五天打渔的日子开始啦。这世上，如果你临时起意，无论走哪条路，都有好朋友嘻嘻哈哈，就哪还有什么江湖路远呀？！