How to Spend a Day as Little Dragon Girl (on a Liquid Diet)

After surviving Day One of the Great Egg Fast, I was absolutely not planning on waking up early. But who was I kidding? My burning desire to hop on the scale shot me out of bed like it was Black Friday and the last air fryer was on sale. I wasn’t alone. My fellow diet warriors were already posting their weigh-ins in our group chat before most Starbucks opened.

Zooming in on the photos, I saw that Labubu and Mr. Meat Sandwich (yes, we’re adults with food-names) had totally crushed it. My competitive spirit exploded out of nowhere. I may be in my forties, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost the will to win. Trembling with anticipation and dramatic flair, I stepped onto the scale, holding my breath like air has negative calories. After all these years on Earth, I still believe air might be lighter if I try hard enough.

One eye open, one eye squinting—bam! The number flashed and I caught it mid-squint. Victory! I'd actually lost weight! I cupped my little chubby cheeks with joy like I’d just been crowned Miss Liquid Diet 2025.

Naturally, I sent the pic to the group chat, ready to throw down some digital smack talk. But just as I was revving up for battle, Labubu dropped the next challenge: Liquid-Only Day. She was already sipping whole milk like it was a fine Cabernet. Mr. Meat Sandwich? Two bowls of mung bean soup down and already ordering soy milk and yogurt for backup.

While brushing my teeth, I frantically opened my delivery app and lined up two oat milk lattes, one liter total. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it deluxe.

Post-shower, I stood in front of the mirror admiring myself. Was it really possible that losing a tiny percent of body fat could make me look this good? Incredible. Naturally, I needed data. I grabbed my laptop, sank into my rocking chair, and launched a spreadsheet session like a true diet nerd. I plotted our original weights, goals, daily losses, percentage losses... the whole nine yards.

Results? Mr. Meat Sandwich dropped 1.7 kg—Heavyweight Champion of Day One. Labubu shed 1.15 kg, winning gold for the highest bodyweight percentage lost. Me? 1.6 kg. Bronze in both categories. And you know what? I didn’t care. As long as I could be a champion of something, I’d take it.

While I was deep in data analysis, the coffee delivery guy called.

"Hi, delivering coffee—are you home?"

"Yep!" I chirped.

"Then why aren't you opening the door?!"

Oops. I'd been too lost in self-validation to hear the doorbell. I giggled and answered the door, collecting my precious half-day ration. Didn’t tell him I was too busy high-fiving myself to function.

Now, those two oat lattes brought on some serious emotional turmoil. Normally I’d be thrilled, but now? Too much, and I'd ruin my weight loss lead. Too little, and I’d fail the Liquid Day Challenge. Ah, the burden of championship. I peeked in the group chat. It turns out we were all feeling the same. Crisis averted. Chug-chug.

The rest of the morning was a blur of phone calls and minor workplace chaos. Honestly, staying busy really takes the edge off hunger. But come afternoon, things slowed down. My colleagues across the ocean logged off, and suddenly I had nothing to distract me but… the scale.

I. Could. Not. Resist.

I weighed myself three times in one hour. No change.

Seriously? Not even a 0.1 kg drop for my suffering? Was Newton wrong? Is energy conservation a scam? I asked Labubu.

She said, “Girl, you can't keep stepping on the scale. Just do it once in the morning and once at night. It messes with your head.”

Wise words from the lightweight. So I limped around the house with the scale in my arms like it was radioactive, eventually hiding it in a place so secret I could barely find it again. Out of sight, out of weigh.

Afternoon liquids: 500 ml kale juice and 500 ml milk. My stomach was chill, but my brain was a mess. Writing felt like squeezing water from a rock. So instead, I sat in my rocking chair pondering whether Liquid Days are even scientifically legit.

Think about it. Little Dragon Girl survived on dew and honey. She had kung fu. I have… body fat. But hey—people rave about “Monday Fasting” and call it detox. Same thing, new branding. If you put a lab coat on it, anything sounds healthy.

I Googled the benefits of Monday fasting: sharper thinking, better memory, glowing skin, unicorn-level immune function. Who wouldn’t want that?

Inspired, I put on my anti-mosquito pants and headed for Wenhua Market. I had one goal: to check if I could remember how many pleats the bun lady puts on each baozi. I’d seen her do it days ago, was it 13? I felt psychic just thinking it.

But I didn’t even make it past the gate.

Because if one of those buns so much as looked at me, I’d inhale it. Cheating on my Liquid Day and lying to my diet squad? Not worth it. Tomorrow’s weigh-in would expose me like a tabloid headline.

So I mumbled to myself: I’m not hungry. Not even a little. Totally fine. Then I walked five kilometers in our massive garden to “distract” myself. Only afterward did I remember my toe still hadn’t healed. Welp. Sometimes forgetting stuff has perks.

Humans really are amazing. Everything has two sides, and if you’re flexible enough, anything can go your way.

By nightfall, my comrades had all quietly stepped on their scales and gone to bed, hearts full of hope. Me? I didn’t weigh myself. Not out of fear—okay maybe a little but mostly because I hid the scale too well.

Instead, I returned to my desk, turned on a Guo Degang & Yu Qian comedy stream, flipped open This Life, This World, and pretended I was writing a dissertation. A soft night breeze drifted in, brushing from south to north across my quiet room. Gone were the cravings, the hunger, the mental drama.

Turns out, Liquid Day wasn’t so hard after all.

To move forward to tomorrow, I don’t need to go anywhere—I just need to fall asleep.

And hopefully, wake up with something new to look forward to.

如何度过小龙女的一天

经过了第一天蛋断实践，想不早起都不行，根本按捺不住想磅秤的心。我的小伙伴们也一样，早早就把秤图发到了群里。放大一看，嚯，Labubu和肉夹馍的成绩斐然啊。我的胜负欲嗖一下就窜出来了，四五十岁，正是不服输的年纪，哆哆嗦嗦一脚踏上人体秤，深吸一大口气。都在地球上住了四十多年了，还是对空气的重量抱有幻想，多么的幼稚。睁一只眼闭一只眼，快速瞄了一眼数字，高兴地双手捧住小胖脸。哈，真的瘦下来啦。

我把图发到群里，正想和小伙伴一决高下。刚好看到Labubu发布今天的规则：液断。她自己已经安排上了纯牛奶。肉夹馍也喝完了早晨的两碗绿豆汤，又点了外卖的豆浆和酸奶。我一边刷牙一边打开美团，给自己安排了两杯燕麦拿铁，1000毫升。

洗好澡，整理妆容，左右照了照镜子，真好看，这是减掉了百分之多少的自己呢，就能这么好看？太不可思议了。然后我就急于想知道这个问题的答案，抱着笔记本一屁股做进摇椅，开始制图。我们三个的原始体重，目标体重，每天减重数值，减重占自重比例全部分析了一遍，一顿操作发进群里，肉夹馍减掉1.7公斤是第一天减掉重量最多的冠军。Labubu减掉1.15公斤，是减掉自重比例最大的冠军，猪小花减掉1.6公斤，不论是减重还是比例都是三个人里的倒数冠军。我就是这么好哄，是冠军就行，怎么数不重要。

我认真制图时，外卖小哥给我打了个电话。他说，送咖啡给你，你在家吗？我说，在呀。他说，在！你怎么不开门呢！我笑嘻嘻地打开大门接过来今天二分之一的口粮，没好意思告诉他，我陷在自我肯定中无法自拔，两耳不闻窗外事。

看着两杯燕麦拿铁，我产生了一种复杂的情绪。平时很喜欢的口味，喝了几口感觉有点抗拒。怕喝多了影响我的减重成果被小伙伴比下去，怕喝少了完不成今天的液断任务。冠军包袱有点重啊。打开群里看了看他们，哈哈，原来大家的想法都一样嘛，那我就放心了，敞开喝吧。

上午的工作有点复杂，七七八八接打了好几个电话。忙起来就忘记了所谓液断的痛苦。过了中午，大洋彼岸值班的同事结束了工作，我也不在需要加入任何会议。人不能闲着，我看到秤就想站上去，先后几次，数字一动不动。这太折磨人了，什么都没吃，怎么还没瘦，我不是能量不守恒了吧？我在群里问Labubu，她说，这个秤啊，你不能老往上站，早晚各一次就行啦，不然多打击士气啊。说的对呀，还是人家基数小的有经验。为了控制自己不往秤上站，我一瘸一拐地把秤抱起来，每个房间都看看，最后选择了一个特别隐蔽的地方，把它藏了起来。

液断的下午还是喝液体，我选择了羽衣甘蓝榨汁500ml和牛奶500ml，身体上毫无痛苦，但是心理备受煎熬。因为要写的东西卡住了，所以我显得天马行空无所事事。我在摇椅上琢磨液断是不是科学，液断，一天什么都不吃。喝点露水和蜂蜜就活下来的人那是小龙女啊，她是有点功夫在身上的啊，我有啥呢，一身肥肉？但转念一想，备受推崇的周一轻断食不是也相当于一天的液断吗？可是换了个马甲，医学界就会说，周一轻断食可以促进新陈代谢，改善消化系统功能‌，增强免疫力，降低炎症风险，提高心血管健康，控制血糖，延缓衰老。可见，凡事只要钻进逻辑的漏洞，都能找到平替，然后我们就能张开怀抱欣然接受。人嘛，就得自己哄自己，瞬间开朗。

我又查了一下关于周一轻断食的好处，其中一条说，断食后，思维敏捷，记忆力提高。为了证明液断和周一轻断食都是无害且优秀的减肥法，我马上换好防蚊裤，穿上鞋，奔向文华市场，看看记忆力提高没有。我记得刚回北京的几天，见过包子铺老板娘包包子，我努力回放那个画面，包了多少个褶来着？十三个？我要去看看，我猜的对不对，是不是福至心灵。但还没走出小区，我就打了退堂鼓。肉包子打我，我很可能坐下就吃了吧。背着小伙伴作弊，这样不好，也会影响效果吧，明天早上一磅秤就得露馅。

我嘟嘟囔囔安慰自己，我不饿，一点都不饿，我可以去花园走走，分散分散注意力。于是，我在偌大的花园里走了五公里，走完才想起来，我的脚趾头还没好利索呢呀。可见，顾头不顾尾，也是有好处的。人类多么的奇妙，话有两面，事有两边，只要够灵活，就没有不随心愿的事儿！

夜深人静，我的伙伴们都完成了一天的工作，也悄悄上了秤，各怀期待地睡觉啦。我没上秤，也不是不愿意，主要是因为我的秤藏的有些费劲，取也不好取下来。

我又重新坐回桌前，在台灯下，打开郭德纲和于谦的相声，翻看胡兰成的《今生今世》，佯装在写论文。夜风如水，从南到北贯穿了我的房间。没有了白天的喧嚣和浮躁，也没有饥肠辘辘。传说里难熬的液断，就这么熬过去了。

想到达明天，不是马上出发，而是立刻睡着。希望，一觉醒来还有期待。