Fat and Fabulous
After conquering 24 hours of liquid fasting—aka the Great Hunger Games, Day：we emerged from the night feeling like absolute legends. We’d locked our mouths shut and thrown away the key for an entire day. And oh boy, did that sense of accomplishment come with perks: good moods, an internal high-five, and that happy-brain-chemical thingy… endorphins? Suddenly, waking up before sunrise didn’t feel painful. It felt purposeful. Because that scale wasn’t going to weigh itself.
So first thing in the morning: weigh in, snap pic, flex on the group chat. I mean, we hadn’t eaten anything. Gravity had no choice but to go easier on us. My weigh-in? Down 0.8 kg. Mr. Meat Sandwich (yes, that’s his code name) dropped 1.25 kg, and Labubu posted a solid 0.85 kg loss. N, my husband, meanwhile was in Singapore (aka The Little Island of Delicious Temptation), gaining weight in solidarity, I suppose. He chimed in from afar by using AI to generate cartoon graphics of us and our dramatic “fasting feelings.” Cute. But if you didn’t suffer through it, do the memes really count?
Today was meat day. Meat-only. No veggies, no carbs, no distractions. Honestly, for a carnivore like me, this was basically a cheat day with a fancy name. The delivery parade began: soy-braised beef, slow-cooked chicken legs, and some Thai sweet shrimp that had been defrosting with purpose since sunrise.
The sun bathed my balcony in golden light. I watched the garbage truck make its rounds and giggled at a fat magpie wobbling on a branch. “Hey little bird, bulking up for summer?”
But then something weird happened. The beef, normally my kryptonite, felt too rich. I nibbled, not devoured. The chicken? I chewed it like it was a glass sculpture. I was paranoid. One bite too indulgent and tomorrow’s scale would punish me. Group chat surveillance showed Labubu and Mr. Meat Sandwich were equally shy with their meat, clearly aware that joy leads to calories.
Between two Zoom meetings, I tried explaining our five-day weight-loss plan to a colleague who’d joined in on a whim mainly because we were in a call during egg-fasting day. She said she’d been gaining weight and had no appetite. Red flags. Turns out she misunderstood the entire plan. Thought “egg-fasting” meant no eggs but all other food was fair game. Thought each day meant skipping the food in the title and overcompensating with everything else. So she “fruit-fasted” by not eating fruit… and eating pizza. I mean, sure, that’s a strategy.
I gently explained: the plan is five days; egg, liquid, meat, fruit, veggies, one food group each day, and that’s all you eat. She blinked. I held my face perfectly still, like my Wi-Fi had frozen, just to buy her time to reflect on her choices.
By dusk, I’d eaten five shrimp and was feeling reflective. From my rocking chair, I noticed the hand-carved wooden deer my brother gave me when I moved. Lean, poised mid-leap, not a hint of fat on it. Sculpted from driftwood and carbonized for that deep-brown finish, it was the opposite of how I felt, slumped over in sweatpants with a stomach that whispered, “Do we… maybe… want more beef?”
My thoughts wandered braised duck, grilled lamb, rabbit legs… Then I caught myself. Meat Day isn’t about eating more meat. It’s about replacing carbs to create a calorie deficit, so your body starts burning stored fat. Simple science. I said this out loud to myself, nodded like I believed it, then marched to the fridge and finished the leftover beef brisket while watching Chef’s Table.
Later, as I passed the bathroom, I spotted a bloated mosquito on the wall, belly full of my blood. On the opposite side, the mirror showed my own rounded tummy. He drank my calories. I ate the beef. We were both full. Neither of us innocent.
Now I’m lying in bed, rubbing my stomach, anxious about the scale tomorrow. How do I face the numbers after licking the sauce bowl clean?
But honestly? No regrets. Because if I gain, I’ll know exactly why. That’s the beauty of this plan: every pound has a name, a story, a recipe. We’re not gaining weight by accident. We’re gaining it mindfully.
We’re fat and fully aware of it. And tomorrow’s another chance to be lighter… or just smarter.
胖的明明白白
经过了前一天液断的我们，也度过了充满饥饿感的晚上。严格管住自己的嘴巴，一管就管了二十四个小时，感觉自己太厉害啦。越是感觉自己厉害，情绪就越积极，大脑一大笑就会分泌内啡肽，然后人就在自我肯定和幸福感里转圈圈，根本不管天亮不亮，反正我们先醒了，磅秤，发图，嘚瑟。毕竟心里有数，啥也没吃，不瘦都难啊，站在秤上倍儿有底气。这和台上一分钟，台下十年功是一个道理吧。这一天，Labubu掉秤0.85公斤，肉夹馍掉秤1.25公斤，我减掉了0.8公斤。N在小岛上自顾自的胖着，看到群里的热闹，用AI画图把我们每一刻的想法和动向都图像化了。啧啧，不亲自饿一饿的参与，都是假把式。
今天是肉断，我就喜欢小动物，每顿都得有。这个减肥任务对我来说，简直就是开玩笑，轻轻松松吃完。外卖排着队送来了刚出品的卤鸡腿和酱牛肉，泰国甜虾也早早化冻，准备成为今天的零食。阳光洒在我的阳台上，照的人暖洋洋的。我饶有兴趣地看垃圾车从窗前路过，喜鹊把枝头压的一动一动的。小喜鹊，你胖了吧，哈哈。
肉已经到位，准备开吃。但是咸香的酱牛肉我只吃了一片就放下了，感觉不一丝一丝地慢慢吃，有点暴殄天物。软烂脱骨的鸡腿也嚼起来非常谨慎。还时不时瞄着群里面Labubu和肉夹馍的动向，生怕自己哪一口咬大了，影响了明天早上掉秤成绩。Labubu和肉夹馍的情况和我差不多，三个平时喜爱大快朵颐的人，在食物面前都变的有点扭捏了。毕竟，今天的成果来之不易嘛。
两个视频会议间隙，我和中文磕磕绊绊的同事交流了正经历的减肥计划。她非常沮丧，主要抱怨体重上升，还有点吃不进去。详细问了一下，原来她把整个计划理解到火星上去了，满拧。她的加入完全是搂草打兔子，因为第一天蛋断时我和她有会。正事谈完，就想拿我练习一下中文，我也没拒绝。就用中文给她介绍了这个宏大又巧妙的计划：只需要五天哦，分别是蛋断，液断，肉断，果断，菜断，然后收获一个小一号的自己。但是我没有展开来说说，导致她认为断什么就是当天不吃什么，且其他食物随便吃，还要多吃。这个联想能力很好的回答了联想公司当年的广告语：“人类失去联想，世界将会怎样。”答，可能会更好。我说，你这不是参加了两天晒网计划啊，你这是天天晒网啊。中文博大精深，是得好好学学，当断不断必受其乱。同事在视频里对自己的联想能力表示震惊，我笑着，保持着一个姿势，连眼睛都不眨，让她以为我的网络不好，卡住了。
傍晚，吃过了五只虾，我坐在摇摇椅上写东西，余光看到了搬新家时，我哥送我的一只浪木雕刻的鹿。鹿的后腿完全腾空，蹄尖绷直，全身看上去没有一丝赘肉。浪木的制作需要蒸煮、碳化，使整个作品颜色稳定并呈现出深棕色。一边听着肚子叽里咕噜的叫，一边看着这只鹿，好轻盈呀。羡慕之际，我想到了很多，熏鸡，酱鸭，兔腿，烤全羊，牛蛙。。。然后想了想，今天是肉断，肉断是什么，不就少吃两口碳水，让身体的整体热量摄入低于消耗，这样身体会分解储存的脂肪，为什么要多吃肉呢？因为人会饿呀，就像我现在这样，吃了肉，蛋白质比例就增加啦，就不饿了。所以，那是不是应该吃肉？应该呀，一边跟自己说话，一边从冰箱里拿出来剩下的酱牛肉，打开《舌尖上的中国》开心地吃完了。经过洗手间，余光看到一只蚊子，鼓着肚子趴在灰白色的墙砖上，它吃的是我的血。另一侧是一面镜子，照着我鼓起来的小胃，我吃的是酱牛肉，都是摄入大于消耗呀。
此刻我就躺在床上，拍着肚子，非常忐忑。明天早上怎么办呢？唉，人胖，不是没有道理的。每个人胖都不冤枉，胖的明明白白的。
